We returned from our honeymoon, full of love, optimism for the future, and poor with no place to live. Technically that's not completely true. We did have a place to live, but couldn't move in until the beginning of fall semester. Brent had another year of school left, so our plan was for him to attend school full-time while I worked full-time to support us.
So, we planned to return to our summer jobs, swallow our pride and live with Brent's parents until August. Not really ideal as newly weds, but, we would bite the bullet. Fortunately, a missionary couple from our church took pity on us and offered us an opportunity to live in their house for the summer while they were away in Morocco. Win, win situation for all! We graciously accepted their offer and made the arrangements to move into their gorgeous four bedroom home.
By day I continued my job at the bank, and by night I became the happy homemaker. Brent worked hard at his internship and choked down my atrocious meals with a smile. If the meal I set before him was unrecognizable (which was most often the case) he would sweetly inquire as to what we were having then chase mouthfuls of the cuisine with his beverage. I was a terrible cook, but he still praised my efforts.
The summer flew by and before we knew it, we were loading up trucks full of our newly acquired wedding gifts, mismatched furniture and random items we couldn't bear to part with. We said good-bye to our families and left Kansas City to start the beginning of our new life in Manhattan, Kansas. We had no idea what God had in store for us in that little basement apartment in the home of the "T" family...
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Honeymoon, Or, 'Honey, What the Heck?'...
Someone wrote me and told me to continue the story. Okay, I confess it was my mom. And technically, she already knows the ending, but I'll indulge her...because she's my mom, and because sometimes she takes me out to lunch on her dime even if it was my idea.
So, let's continue shall we?
With the wedding over, we were so excited to begin our honeymoon. We were being magically whisked away to...wait for it...Arkansas. Come on, don't laugh! We were two poor college students and Arkansas was the furthest our bucks would take us! We booked a couple of bed and breakfasts, and planned a week of relaxation amongst the related citizens of Arkansas. Sorry. Couldn't resist. Missouri and Arkansas have a love/hate relationship. Sorry good people of Arkansas...please don't stop reading. I give you permission to take a cheap shot at me in my comments section.
We were particularly excited about the first bed and breakfast. In the pictures it was this quaint little place with gorgeous bedrooms, a continental breakfast served to our room, and a pool nestled among the trees. It was the perfect place for relaxation and romance.
We were a bit shocked to discover our little inn was not exactly depicted correctly on the brochure. At first we thought we had the wrong address. After checking the map, checking the address and doing a bit of comparing and circling the place a couple of times...we realized, we did indeed have the correct location.
The building was a bit...outdated. It looked like it's latest paint job occurred in the 80's. We drove around back and just happened upon the pool. It was above ground (and definitely NOT Olympic size), and I'm sure there was water in there somewhere beneath all the leaves. We decided to at least go inside and talk to the manager. We'll call him 'Frank'. We walked in and prepared to tell Frank we wanted to cancel, but he was the sweetest man. He said he had been looking forward to our arrival (I'm pretty sure we were the ONLY ones staying there) and that he had our room all ready for us. What could we say? We decided to at least go take a look.
All I can say is at least the decor was consistent with the 80's time period of the rest of the place. I'm pretty sure I hadn't seen those shades of peach, mauve and teal with accents of brass in quite some time.
The place was immaculately clean on the inside, so we thought we would at least stay one night, for Frank's sake. Frank excitedly showed us all the features of the room and before he left we asked him about the continental breakfast served to our room. "Oh!" he said, "Are you guys gonna love this!" He took us over to a little box about the size of a large mailbox attached to the wall of our room. He pulled on the handle to open the box. Inside it was lined with orange shag carpet with another small door that led to the outside of our room. Frank said, "Tomorrow morning I'll place your breakfast in the box, and when you're ready, you can just open the door on your side of the room and, VOILA!" Needless to say, he was quite proud of his invention. Brent and I stood there wide-eyed, with fake grins plastered on our faces, nodding in unison like a couple of bobble heads.
Frank finished up the tour, then let out a sigh and said, "Well then, I guess I'll just leave you two kids to it." And with that he left, closing the door to our room leaving us standing there staring after him.
We looked at each other and burst into laughter, deciding we HAD to stay there for at least one night purely for the insanity of it all! We changed clothes, went out to eat, walked around town a bit and then headed back for the night. There were a few sights we wanted to see in the morning, so having the continental breakfast would be so nice and such a time saver.
The next morning we awoke early and 'rock, paper, scissored' who would be the lucky one to check our box. I lost. I walked over, opened the door and inside, nestled in the shag carpet, were two Otis Spunkmeyer muffins, a couple of Lipton tea bags, a thermos of hot water and a couple of Styrofoam cups.
I don't know if it was the prepackaged muffins or the tea bags, or the look of it all among the shag, but we quickly decided breakfast 'out' was in order. We also decided it was time to move on. Good bye Frank...it was fun while it lasted.
We spent the rest of our week hopping to a couple of different inns, taking long drives along the Ozark hills (which, I'll admit are gorgeous), and seeing the various sights. We spent a few fun days in Branson, then headed back home to embark on our new life as a married couple...with no permanent home to call our own...
So, let's continue shall we?
With the wedding over, we were so excited to begin our honeymoon. We were being magically whisked away to...wait for it...Arkansas. Come on, don't laugh! We were two poor college students and Arkansas was the furthest our bucks would take us! We booked a couple of bed and breakfasts, and planned a week of relaxation amongst the related citizens of Arkansas. Sorry. Couldn't resist. Missouri and Arkansas have a love/hate relationship. Sorry good people of Arkansas...please don't stop reading. I give you permission to take a cheap shot at me in my comments section.
We were particularly excited about the first bed and breakfast. In the pictures it was this quaint little place with gorgeous bedrooms, a continental breakfast served to our room, and a pool nestled among the trees. It was the perfect place for relaxation and romance.
We were a bit shocked to discover our little inn was not exactly depicted correctly on the brochure. At first we thought we had the wrong address. After checking the map, checking the address and doing a bit of comparing and circling the place a couple of times...we realized, we did indeed have the correct location.
The building was a bit...outdated. It looked like it's latest paint job occurred in the 80's. We drove around back and just happened upon the pool. It was above ground (and definitely NOT Olympic size), and I'm sure there was water in there somewhere beneath all the leaves. We decided to at least go inside and talk to the manager. We'll call him 'Frank'. We walked in and prepared to tell Frank we wanted to cancel, but he was the sweetest man. He said he had been looking forward to our arrival (I'm pretty sure we were the ONLY ones staying there) and that he had our room all ready for us. What could we say? We decided to at least go take a look.
All I can say is at least the decor was consistent with the 80's time period of the rest of the place. I'm pretty sure I hadn't seen those shades of peach, mauve and teal with accents of brass in quite some time.
The place was immaculately clean on the inside, so we thought we would at least stay one night, for Frank's sake. Frank excitedly showed us all the features of the room and before he left we asked him about the continental breakfast served to our room. "Oh!" he said, "Are you guys gonna love this!" He took us over to a little box about the size of a large mailbox attached to the wall of our room. He pulled on the handle to open the box. Inside it was lined with orange shag carpet with another small door that led to the outside of our room. Frank said, "Tomorrow morning I'll place your breakfast in the box, and when you're ready, you can just open the door on your side of the room and, VOILA!" Needless to say, he was quite proud of his invention. Brent and I stood there wide-eyed, with fake grins plastered on our faces, nodding in unison like a couple of bobble heads.
Frank finished up the tour, then let out a sigh and said, "Well then, I guess I'll just leave you two kids to it." And with that he left, closing the door to our room leaving us standing there staring after him.
We looked at each other and burst into laughter, deciding we HAD to stay there for at least one night purely for the insanity of it all! We changed clothes, went out to eat, walked around town a bit and then headed back for the night. There were a few sights we wanted to see in the morning, so having the continental breakfast would be so nice and such a time saver.
The next morning we awoke early and 'rock, paper, scissored' who would be the lucky one to check our box. I lost. I walked over, opened the door and inside, nestled in the shag carpet, were two Otis Spunkmeyer muffins, a couple of Lipton tea bags, a thermos of hot water and a couple of Styrofoam cups.
I don't know if it was the prepackaged muffins or the tea bags, or the look of it all among the shag, but we quickly decided breakfast 'out' was in order. We also decided it was time to move on. Good bye Frank...it was fun while it lasted.
We spent the rest of our week hopping to a couple of different inns, taking long drives along the Ozark hills (which, I'll admit are gorgeous), and seeing the various sights. We spent a few fun days in Branson, then headed back home to embark on our new life as a married couple...with no permanent home to call our own...
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
The Finale...
Day 7 Part Two...
June 16, 2001
Every little girl dreams of the perfect wedding. The dress. The shoes. The church and colors. Honestly, not really my forte. I have the design sense of a wet sponge. God just didn't bless me with a sense of style. So, I enlisted my girlie-girl mom for help. I told her what I liked and she went to work. She was a woman on a mission. She could have had her own reality t.v. show, the way she worked those vendors. The woman could work a hot glue gun like nobody's business. Frankly, she has impeccable taste that I simply did not inherit.
2001 was the height of Ebay, and my mom was the ebay queen. Every week I'd receive phone messages from my mom, "Hi sweetie! You'll never guess what I bid on and won for your wedding! Remember how you wanted tulle? Well, I just won like 5 bolts of it!" or "I just won a huge box of white Christmas lights! They will be perfect for the reception!" She was definitely in her element, and I was happy to oblige. We affectionately referred to our wedding as the 'Ebay wedding'.
We went dress shopping, cake tasting, poured over colors and samples. We Picked music, selected flowers and invitations and did everything on a budget. It was an exciting time. But, it didn't compare to the excitement Brent and I had anticipating becoming husband and wife.
The big day arrived and I was beyond excited to begin getting ready for the day. The day was gorgeous. I got ready at home with my family, taking all precautions to guard my dress from any accidents I was prone to. Then it was off to the church. Things moved along so quickly that before I knew it, it was time to walk down the aisle. Right before it was time, my dad pulled me aside and prayed for me, for us, and our future as husband and wife. The he kissed my forehead, lowered my veil and said, "Let's get this show on the road kiddo." and gave me a wink.
I waited with my dad and watched as one by one my bridesmaids walked down the aisle. My heart was pounding. Then, the doors swung wide and I heard the music begin to play softly. My dad took the first step and all I kept thinking was, "Don't trip, don't trip, don't trip." But, then I caught a glimpse of Brent waiting for me at the end of the aisle, and my thoughts changed. It was him. I think at that point a huge smile came over me and I just couldn't wait to get down that aisle. My dad placed my hand in Brent's. We looked at one another and whispered, "I love you." We exchanged vows and then rings, whispering "forever" before placing our rings on. We chose communion as our first act of marriage, and then our dads came forward to pray a blessing over us and our marriage. The pastor pronounced us husband and wife and then Brent turned to me and kissed me...
June 16, 2001
Every little girl dreams of the perfect wedding. The dress. The shoes. The church and colors. Honestly, not really my forte. I have the design sense of a wet sponge. God just didn't bless me with a sense of style. So, I enlisted my girlie-girl mom for help. I told her what I liked and she went to work. She was a woman on a mission. She could have had her own reality t.v. show, the way she worked those vendors. The woman could work a hot glue gun like nobody's business. Frankly, she has impeccable taste that I simply did not inherit.
2001 was the height of Ebay, and my mom was the ebay queen. Every week I'd receive phone messages from my mom, "Hi sweetie! You'll never guess what I bid on and won for your wedding! Remember how you wanted tulle? Well, I just won like 5 bolts of it!" or "I just won a huge box of white Christmas lights! They will be perfect for the reception!" She was definitely in her element, and I was happy to oblige. We affectionately referred to our wedding as the 'Ebay wedding'.
We went dress shopping, cake tasting, poured over colors and samples. We Picked music, selected flowers and invitations and did everything on a budget. It was an exciting time. But, it didn't compare to the excitement Brent and I had anticipating becoming husband and wife.
The big day arrived and I was beyond excited to begin getting ready for the day. The day was gorgeous. I got ready at home with my family, taking all precautions to guard my dress from any accidents I was prone to. Then it was off to the church. Things moved along so quickly that before I knew it, it was time to walk down the aisle. Right before it was time, my dad pulled me aside and prayed for me, for us, and our future as husband and wife. The he kissed my forehead, lowered my veil and said, "Let's get this show on the road kiddo." and gave me a wink.
I waited with my dad and watched as one by one my bridesmaids walked down the aisle. My heart was pounding. Then, the doors swung wide and I heard the music begin to play softly. My dad took the first step and all I kept thinking was, "Don't trip, don't trip, don't trip." But, then I caught a glimpse of Brent waiting for me at the end of the aisle, and my thoughts changed. It was him. I think at that point a huge smile came over me and I just couldn't wait to get down that aisle. My dad placed my hand in Brent's. We looked at one another and whispered, "I love you." We exchanged vows and then rings, whispering "forever" before placing our rings on. We chose communion as our first act of marriage, and then our dads came forward to pray a blessing over us and our marriage. The pastor pronounced us husband and wife and then Brent turned to me and kissed me...
W. Y. M. M?...
Day 7...
Fall semester ushered in my senior year and Brent's 4th year in the architecture program (a five year program). This would be a critical year for both of us as we wrapped up our education and prepared for graduation. I was bogged down with deadlines and senior seminar, Brent was logging crazy hours in studio working on design projects.
Over the course of the last year-and-a-half, the landscape of our relationship had drastically changed. We went from friends, to dating, to talking about marriage. We came home from school more often to see each other and were really tired of being apart. The question of marriage no longer being an issue, we now tackled the decision of WHEN to get married. Do we wait until both of us graduate? Do we get married after I graduate and then move to Manhattan, KS until Brent finished? Do we wait altogether until graduation AND jobs?
We decided waiting just wasn't an option. We would get married the summer after I graduated. The sooner we were together, the better. We weren't engaged yet. We wanted to do it the right way, which meant saving money, asking parents for permission and the planning of a romantic surprise...all of which fell on Brent's shoulders.
I have to admit. I don't really envy guys when it comes to the proposal process. Rings are pricey, dad's are brutal, and then you have to plan the moment to remember. I would say those are all stress-worthy events. Add on top of that crazy architecture hours and you have the ingredients for an ulcer.
Brent was a man on a mission. He played "Mr. Sneaky" and went to Kansas City one weekend to talk to my dad. They had a heart to heart, and Brent layed out everything for my dad regarding his intentions. By the end of the conversation, my dad had given Brent his blessing. One element down, two to go.
Next, Brent did a little shopping. He enlisted my mom's help and together they picked out the perfect ring on a modest budget. One piece left.
Planning "The Moment". I have to give my guy a lot of credit. He is king of planning romantic moments. He's resourceful, sentimental, and does his homework. This time his plan was to create a moment neither of us would ever forget, using pieces and memories from our courtship.
He spent weekends in his grandpa's workshop building a box from wood that would hold mementos from our courtship and 'the ring'. He enlisted my parents help in getting me to come home for the weekend under the premise of 'yearly family portrait time' so he could surprise me.
Saturday arrived, and I spent the morning with my family, posing and experiencing the pain and torture otherwise known as family picture time. Everyone in coordinating outfits, posing in fall foliage, sitting on logs, and smiling until our cheeks hurt. Never been a fan. STILL not a fan. But that's what counseling is for, so I won't bore you with those details.
After family torture...I mean...family picture time, Brent and I had agreed to meet up later that evening. He picked me up and suggested we head to our favorite park near the Plaza area.
It was a perfect fall evening, so we decided to take a walk. Brent grabbed a blanket from his car and we walked until we scouted out the perfect tree. We spread out the blanket and it was then that I noticed Brent had a wooden box the size of a large encyclopedia in his hand beneath the blanket. I looked at him and said, "Where'd you get that?!" He smiled and said "It's for you." I laughed and placed the box in my lap.
I lifted the lid of the box and noticed that on the underside, he had engraved our initials by hand. The box was filled with all kinds of items that reminded us of our courtship. Favorite books, church bulletins from events we had attended together, packs of gum, toilet paper (um...can you guess what THAT was supposed to remind me of?) pages from his journal while he was praying about our relationship and more.
Inside the box was a story. A story Brent wrote about a man searching for the woman God had created just for him. And with that story and this reading, he proposed:
'His love for her soon sends him to his knees. "God, I am completely in love with one of your children. She is the love of my life and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Test my heart oh God; show me your will. She is the most beautiful of your creation and I want to serve her in any way you allow. And if it is your will, unite us in marriage." '
Brent continued reading, and by the end of the story, there was no question in my mind what he was going to ask. He got down on one knee, with tears in his eyes and asked, "Nik, will you be my wife?" I looked down and in a small cut out in the bottom of the box there was the ring.
This was the moment I had prayed for and searched God for. Blindly praying years before for a future husband I didn't know, and trusting God that there was someone he had created just for me. And through my tears I said, "Yes."
To be continued...
Fall semester ushered in my senior year and Brent's 4th year in the architecture program (a five year program). This would be a critical year for both of us as we wrapped up our education and prepared for graduation. I was bogged down with deadlines and senior seminar, Brent was logging crazy hours in studio working on design projects.
Over the course of the last year-and-a-half, the landscape of our relationship had drastically changed. We went from friends, to dating, to talking about marriage. We came home from school more often to see each other and were really tired of being apart. The question of marriage no longer being an issue, we now tackled the decision of WHEN to get married. Do we wait until both of us graduate? Do we get married after I graduate and then move to Manhattan, KS until Brent finished? Do we wait altogether until graduation AND jobs?
We decided waiting just wasn't an option. We would get married the summer after I graduated. The sooner we were together, the better. We weren't engaged yet. We wanted to do it the right way, which meant saving money, asking parents for permission and the planning of a romantic surprise...all of which fell on Brent's shoulders.
I have to admit. I don't really envy guys when it comes to the proposal process. Rings are pricey, dad's are brutal, and then you have to plan the moment to remember. I would say those are all stress-worthy events. Add on top of that crazy architecture hours and you have the ingredients for an ulcer.
Brent was a man on a mission. He played "Mr. Sneaky" and went to Kansas City one weekend to talk to my dad. They had a heart to heart, and Brent layed out everything for my dad regarding his intentions. By the end of the conversation, my dad had given Brent his blessing. One element down, two to go.
Next, Brent did a little shopping. He enlisted my mom's help and together they picked out the perfect ring on a modest budget. One piece left.
Planning "The Moment". I have to give my guy a lot of credit. He is king of planning romantic moments. He's resourceful, sentimental, and does his homework. This time his plan was to create a moment neither of us would ever forget, using pieces and memories from our courtship.
He spent weekends in his grandpa's workshop building a box from wood that would hold mementos from our courtship and 'the ring'. He enlisted my parents help in getting me to come home for the weekend under the premise of 'yearly family portrait time' so he could surprise me.
Saturday arrived, and I spent the morning with my family, posing and experiencing the pain and torture otherwise known as family picture time. Everyone in coordinating outfits, posing in fall foliage, sitting on logs, and smiling until our cheeks hurt. Never been a fan. STILL not a fan. But that's what counseling is for, so I won't bore you with those details.
After family torture...I mean...family picture time, Brent and I had agreed to meet up later that evening. He picked me up and suggested we head to our favorite park near the Plaza area.
It was a perfect fall evening, so we decided to take a walk. Brent grabbed a blanket from his car and we walked until we scouted out the perfect tree. We spread out the blanket and it was then that I noticed Brent had a wooden box the size of a large encyclopedia in his hand beneath the blanket. I looked at him and said, "Where'd you get that?!" He smiled and said "It's for you." I laughed and placed the box in my lap.
I lifted the lid of the box and noticed that on the underside, he had engraved our initials by hand. The box was filled with all kinds of items that reminded us of our courtship. Favorite books, church bulletins from events we had attended together, packs of gum, toilet paper (um...can you guess what THAT was supposed to remind me of?) pages from his journal while he was praying about our relationship and more.
Inside the box was a story. A story Brent wrote about a man searching for the woman God had created just for him. And with that story and this reading, he proposed:
'His love for her soon sends him to his knees. "God, I am completely in love with one of your children. She is the love of my life and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Test my heart oh God; show me your will. She is the most beautiful of your creation and I want to serve her in any way you allow. And if it is your will, unite us in marriage." '
Brent continued reading, and by the end of the story, there was no question in my mind what he was going to ask. He got down on one knee, with tears in his eyes and asked, "Nik, will you be my wife?" I looked down and in a small cut out in the bottom of the box there was the ring.
This was the moment I had prayed for and searched God for. Blindly praying years before for a future husband I didn't know, and trusting God that there was someone he had created just for me. And through my tears I said, "Yes."
To be continued...
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
You're The One...
Day 6 Part 3...
I just might make my deadline. Tomorrow is the big day and we're getting close friends. Let's get to it...
First semester flew by, second semester was well under way and we were getting the swing of this long-distance-relationship thing. We e-mailed devotions to one another, sent letters and had our evening phone call routine. We couldn't wait to reconnect in the summer.
Summer arrived and it was as though we were never apart. We frequented our old haunts, spent time with each other's families and were eager to simply spend time together.
We really enjoyed hanging out with our married friends Chris and Dawn, so we were so excited when they suggested a double-date to a Royal's game. During the seventh inning stretch, Brent suggested we grab a hot dog. I welcomed the chance to stretch my legs, and admittedly I'm not much on baseball. I go for the socialization and the hot dogs. I know, very un-American of me.
On our way to the concession stand, Brent grabbed my hand and slowed me down a bit. I was a woman on a mission and wanted to grab that hot dog before the line got too long. I could tell something was on his mind. "Don't you want to get a hot dog?" He said, "Um, I'm not sure." I paused, "Oh. Do you want a polish sausage or pizza instead? I'm okay with nachos too. Did you see that giant cotton candy that lady had?!"
"Actually, I need to tell you something." He had a serious look on his face and it didn't look like he was deciding between hot dogs or pizza. He pulled me out of the concession line and we began walking. I gave one last longing glance toward the line of people piling on their condiments. So long stadium food...I'll miss you.
Brent grabbed both of my hands and said firmly, "You're the one." I know I must have had a dumbfounded look on my face (I tend to get that way) because he repeated, "You're the one. I've been praying for a long time, and I know that you're the one I want to marry. I'm sitting there next to Chris and Dawn seeing how happy they are spending their lives together and I know, that I want that with you." Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized that he was verbalizing what I had been feeling and praying about for the last year. I was in love with him. I wanted to spend my life with him as well. I finally spoke and said, "I feel the same way. I see myself spending my life with you." We hugged and then he said, "Just to clarify, I'm not proposing. I'm just making my intentions clear. I would never propose without speaking with your parents. I just wanted to make sure that we were both ready to move forward.
I was so excited about this new chapter in our relationship. The hot dog could wait...
To be continued...
I just might make my deadline. Tomorrow is the big day and we're getting close friends. Let's get to it...
First semester flew by, second semester was well under way and we were getting the swing of this long-distance-relationship thing. We e-mailed devotions to one another, sent letters and had our evening phone call routine. We couldn't wait to reconnect in the summer.
Summer arrived and it was as though we were never apart. We frequented our old haunts, spent time with each other's families and were eager to simply spend time together.
We really enjoyed hanging out with our married friends Chris and Dawn, so we were so excited when they suggested a double-date to a Royal's game. During the seventh inning stretch, Brent suggested we grab a hot dog. I welcomed the chance to stretch my legs, and admittedly I'm not much on baseball. I go for the socialization and the hot dogs. I know, very un-American of me.
On our way to the concession stand, Brent grabbed my hand and slowed me down a bit. I was a woman on a mission and wanted to grab that hot dog before the line got too long. I could tell something was on his mind. "Don't you want to get a hot dog?" He said, "Um, I'm not sure." I paused, "Oh. Do you want a polish sausage or pizza instead? I'm okay with nachos too. Did you see that giant cotton candy that lady had?!"
"Actually, I need to tell you something." He had a serious look on his face and it didn't look like he was deciding between hot dogs or pizza. He pulled me out of the concession line and we began walking. I gave one last longing glance toward the line of people piling on their condiments. So long stadium food...I'll miss you.
Brent grabbed both of my hands and said firmly, "You're the one." I know I must have had a dumbfounded look on my face (I tend to get that way) because he repeated, "You're the one. I've been praying for a long time, and I know that you're the one I want to marry. I'm sitting there next to Chris and Dawn seeing how happy they are spending their lives together and I know, that I want that with you." Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized that he was verbalizing what I had been feeling and praying about for the last year. I was in love with him. I wanted to spend my life with him as well. I finally spoke and said, "I feel the same way. I see myself spending my life with you." We hugged and then he said, "Just to clarify, I'm not proposing. I'm just making my intentions clear. I would never propose without speaking with your parents. I just wanted to make sure that we were both ready to move forward.
I was so excited about this new chapter in our relationship. The hot dog could wait...
To be continued...
I told you so...
Day 6 Part Two...
We spent what was left of our Summer hanging out together as well as with our circle of friends. Of course, we endured a LOT of "I told you so's" once the word got out that we were an official 'item'. But, that was okay. Summer drew to a close far more quickly than either of us anticipated and we packed up our cars in preparation of heading back to school.
I had to head back a bit early since the campus ministry I was a part of had it's big back to school kick-off to welcome the incoming freshman. Brent was sweet enough to come see me off. We had grown much closer toward the end of summer and neither of us were looking forward to being apart for the semester. We said our good-byes and promised to e-mail and call often. And then I drove off...
I didn't know what to expect. Would we last? Would distance make our hearts grow fonder? Would we grow apart? This was the crucial part of developing our relationship; developing our relationship with the Lord while we were apart, pursuing one another, and letting God take control while waiting on HIM and HIS timing...
To be continued...
We spent what was left of our Summer hanging out together as well as with our circle of friends. Of course, we endured a LOT of "I told you so's" once the word got out that we were an official 'item'. But, that was okay. Summer drew to a close far more quickly than either of us anticipated and we packed up our cars in preparation of heading back to school.
I had to head back a bit early since the campus ministry I was a part of had it's big back to school kick-off to welcome the incoming freshman. Brent was sweet enough to come see me off. We had grown much closer toward the end of summer and neither of us were looking forward to being apart for the semester. We said our good-byes and promised to e-mail and call often. And then I drove off...
I didn't know what to expect. Would we last? Would distance make our hearts grow fonder? Would we grow apart? This was the crucial part of developing our relationship; developing our relationship with the Lord while we were apart, pursuing one another, and letting God take control while waiting on HIM and HIS timing...
To be continued...
DTR...
Day 6 Part One...
"So, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about..." I immediately got nervous. I just knew he was going to say, "You're a really great friend, I just want to make sure there's no misunderstanding here. You understand we're just friends right?" Of course. I mean I set the rule...no dating. It was my own fault for not keeping my feelings in check. Shame on me for reading into things.
Instead I heard, "I've been praying a lot lately. I've really enjoyed hanging out with you and getting to know you. I don't know if you feel the same way, but I'd really like to date you with the intention of seeing if we are meant for each other." I think at that point the shock wore off and I said something profound like, "I agree." And then he said more, "I know you've been pursuing God as a single, so I was just concerned that a relationship would cloud that. I want to make sure that we are putting God first as we are seeking HIS will for us."
Us. U-S. US. I went from a single, with a chip on her shoulder regarding relationships, to 'us'. I spent a full-year before meeting Brent telling God my plans and spelling out for HIM what I would or wouldn't do. I spent more time building a wall, thinking I was doing what HE wanted me to do. Over the course of a couple of months, HE tore down my wall brick by brick by establishing an unlikely friendship and growing it into the beginnings of a courtship.
We spent the better part of an hour establishing boundaries for our new relationship. First up, physical boundaries. We made a decision to not kiss until engagement. We didn't see anything wrong with kissing per se, we just wanted to make sure that a physical relationship didn't interfere with the importance of getting to know one another as potential spouses. We also didn't want to dive into that kind of temptation. Once you go too far it's hard to go back. We felt like if we removed the temptation all together there was no guilt interfering with our courtship. We wanted to honor God first and foremost. It goes back to the verse in Song of Solomon, we didn't want to awaken desires for intimacy that were meant for the marriage relationship. If God's desire was not for us to marry, we didn't want to take anything away from our future spouses.
Second, we decided since we were dating in pursuit of marriage, we would be exclusive.
We also discussed what our relationship would look like since we would be long distance once returning to our respective universities in the fall. We decided this would actually be a great test at growing our relationship.
With those things in mind we prayed together before parting for the evening...
To be continued...
"So, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about..." I immediately got nervous. I just knew he was going to say, "You're a really great friend, I just want to make sure there's no misunderstanding here. You understand we're just friends right?" Of course. I mean I set the rule...no dating. It was my own fault for not keeping my feelings in check. Shame on me for reading into things.
Instead I heard, "I've been praying a lot lately. I've really enjoyed hanging out with you and getting to know you. I don't know if you feel the same way, but I'd really like to date you with the intention of seeing if we are meant for each other." I think at that point the shock wore off and I said something profound like, "I agree." And then he said more, "I know you've been pursuing God as a single, so I was just concerned that a relationship would cloud that. I want to make sure that we are putting God first as we are seeking HIS will for us."
Us. U-S. US. I went from a single, with a chip on her shoulder regarding relationships, to 'us'. I spent a full-year before meeting Brent telling God my plans and spelling out for HIM what I would or wouldn't do. I spent more time building a wall, thinking I was doing what HE wanted me to do. Over the course of a couple of months, HE tore down my wall brick by brick by establishing an unlikely friendship and growing it into the beginnings of a courtship.
We spent the better part of an hour establishing boundaries for our new relationship. First up, physical boundaries. We made a decision to not kiss until engagement. We didn't see anything wrong with kissing per se, we just wanted to make sure that a physical relationship didn't interfere with the importance of getting to know one another as potential spouses. We also didn't want to dive into that kind of temptation. Once you go too far it's hard to go back. We felt like if we removed the temptation all together there was no guilt interfering with our courtship. We wanted to honor God first and foremost. It goes back to the verse in Song of Solomon, we didn't want to awaken desires for intimacy that were meant for the marriage relationship. If God's desire was not for us to marry, we didn't want to take anything away from our future spouses.
Second, we decided since we were dating in pursuit of marriage, we would be exclusive.
We also discussed what our relationship would look like since we would be long distance once returning to our respective universities in the fall. We decided this would actually be a great test at growing our relationship.
With those things in mind we prayed together before parting for the evening...
To be continued...
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