Saturday, August 15, 2009
Showdown With A Bat
(I took time out from my run-in to take a pic...would you have believed me otherwise?)
Not less than 15 minutes ago I had a run-in with a bat...in my house...under the cover of my son's toys. Friends, I couldn't make up a story like this if I tried.
Here I was, home alone (sweet Eva was taking a nap), cleaning house like the good wife and picking up my son's toys (who I might add had been told twice this morning to pick them up himself...another story for another time.) I bent down to pick up Ethan's guitar and heard a high pitched frantic squeaking. I looked down to see a bat staring up at me. Hmmmm, I thought, I didn't know Ethan had a bat toy...so realistic too! That's because it was real! I jumped back and screamed, which sent the bat flying through the house. So not cool.
He landed on the arm of the couch. This was a job too big for me, so I frantically called my big strong man...he didn't answer, neither did the big strong man next door or the big strong man across the street.
So, I grabbed the broom and devised my plan. I would swing the broom and hit the bat, going for the kill (I know, PETA is probably going to picket my house right now).
The problem with my plan? I've never been known for my hand/eye coordination. I swing and miss baseballs, golf balls, punching bags and pretty much anything else one could aim to hit.
Despite my weakness, I proceeded with my plan. I stealthily approached the bat, broom poised in the air, all the while praying aloud, "Lord, please don't miss, please don't miss, please don't miss."
I swung and...MISSED, which sent the bat squeaking and flying around the house! I was not abandoning my plan yet, so I began swinging wildly in the air and finally, bat met broom and went crashing to the floor. Now, I'll spare you the rest of the details as most of you would probably have found a way to have him peacefully exit the house. Even my husband sympathetically hailed the bat's goodness for ridding us of the pesky mosquito.
So, while I am still cringing from this debacle, I will take a moment of silence for the bat.
So, bat, here's to you, who today, took one for the team by being in the wrong place at the wrong time, pitted against a crazy woman wielding a broom.