Wednesday, February 3, 2010


I love my dog. Okay, that was an outright lie. She drives me crazy, mad, insane and pushes me to the brink of...well...insanity. I didn't always feel this way. As a matter of fact there was a cold Sunday afternoon in February seven years ago, that the hubby and I (then childless) stood in front of a kennel at the animal rescue league preparing to take home a sweet, quiet, shy 130lb English Mastiff named...Stella.

We were like new parents preparing to take home our infant. We eagerly filled out the paperwork, slipped her brand new collar over her mammoth neck, attached the leash with care and then led her to our explorer (or rather she led us by dragging us across the ice-rink of a parking lot). We should have known what we were getting ourselves into when as we pulled away from the rescue league she let out a loud deep bark that startled us and caused us to look at each other and laugh nervously. It can't be so bad right? Ummmmm....if Marley and Hooch mated, you'd get Stella. Technically Marley and Hooch can't mate since they are both males...I digress.

In the seven years since Stella has been in our care she has consumed a barrage of things both food and non-food. I guess you could say, she eats when she is bored, tired, lonely, sad and happy. Basically, eating is what she's good at. We've nicknamed her, 'The Iron Stomach.'

Stella has consumed multiple loaves of bread (her comfort food of choice), whole blocks of cheese, an entire 5 lb bag of potatoes, rolls of paper towels, a lint roller (yes, she swallowed the tape), numerous bags of garbage, toilet paper, large bag of Dove chocolate (including foil), batches of cookies, cardboard boxes, plastic bags, two whole cantaloupes, bag of pears, casseroles, kids food, gum, and a backpack. Oh, and to top it all off, half a bottle of antacids. This all in addition to her kibble. She's not picky and I have the vet on speed dial.

She's destroyed blankets, shoes (always mine), toys, and a couple of cell phones. She's afraid of storms and men in hats. She loves a good tum rub and the spot above her tail. She likes short walks, sleeps a lot in the sun and is gentle with the kids. Our vets love her. She lays her head in my lap when I cry and she followed me everywhere in the house during my postpartum depression after the little Mr. was born. She snores loudly and stinks up the house silently. She barks at strangers and welcomes friends. While she still drives me crazy, I can't imagine life without her. This month marks seven years from when we rescued Stella. We've had more adventures that we can count, a large food bill and a lot of love. Without her we wouldn't be 'The Jackson 5'.

Picture taken after we brought Stella home...this blanket was also consumed by Stella.


haverlee said...

This post was hilarious. When I saw the pictures at the top, I laughed. So perfect! needed Beethoven up there too :)

Nikki said...

Ahhhhh...I forgot all about Beethoven! He was so naughty! Maybe someday we can recoup our financial loss by selling Stella's story LOL! Everyone loves a good, "My dog ruined my life, but I still love him/her story!