What To Do When Your Baby Is Breech and Other Crazy Pregnant Ramblings...

Week 33 and desperate to try anything that will turn a breech babe.

What does a bag of peas, stack of pillows, heating pad, flash light, classical music and the webster method all have in common?  They are all supposed ways of turning a breech baby.  Yep.  Baby J prefers to march to the beat of a different drum and has decided to settle into breech position.  Desperate times call for desperate measures and I've got six weeks to try to convince baby J that head down is best for all involved.

My midwives gave me a detailed sheet of exercises and tricks to try at home, some of which include the above items I mentioned.  I sort of laughed off all the techniques until I got visions of c-section recovery in my head and decided the sheet was worth a shot.

First I tried stacking pillows under my bum until my hips were so high in the air above my head that my face began turning red.  I managed to stay in that position eight of the recommended ten minutes until the pounding in my head and the kicking baby convinced me to give it up.  I rolled myself from my perch and decided I'd try again the following day.

The next day, I reread the sheet of to-do's and decided maybe I should couple high-hips with some of the other techniques for a sort of trifecta the baby couldn't win against.  Once again, I propped my hips up on pillows, face turning beet red, with a bag of frozen peas at the top of my abdomen and a flashlight pointed just above my hips directly on my belly. According to the sheet, the baby should try to escape from the cold and head into the light. While in this compromising position, my husband walked in the room and gave me the, lady-are-you-crazy-look.  Not really wanting to explain my loss of dignity, I handed him the sheet and said, "Here, it's on this sheet of paper.  Just read it."  He read it, shook his head and said, "Let me know how that works out for ya." Then left the room.  This position lasted 10 minutes with no turned baby .  I came to the conclusion that someone came up with these loony positions just to see if some crazy, desperate pregnant lady would give it a try.  Not wanting to disappoint, I became the crazy, desperate pregnant lady.

The following day, I decided to try the last position on the sheet.  It was a variation of the pillows under the hips position, except the desperate pregnant lady is to lean an ironing board against a couch creating an angled plane.  Next, said lady is to lie down on the board with head pointed toward the floor, holding the position for 15 minutes.  This time, I decided I would try it when I was alone.  My pride simply couldn't handle the questions from the kiddos and head shakes from my hubby.  I leaned the ironing board on the couch, then I sort of half-shimmied up the board until my body was at a complete angle with the top of my head resting on the floor, a bag of frozen peas on the top of my abdomen above the baby's head, and a heating pad at the bottom of my abdomen.  Supposedly, the baby is to make like a bird and head south away from the cold and toward warmer weather.  Under my breath I said, "Lord please let this work." Then I talked to the baby, pleading with him/her to get in correct position.  This position lasted all of five of the recommended 15 minutes, at which point I began getting indigestion coupled with my beet-red face and the sensation that passing out was imminent.  So, I rolled my pregnant self off the board and threw away the sheet of paper that stripped me of my dignity.  Stupid paper.

Lastly, I decided I would probably be better off going to the chiropractor to see what she could accomplish. I had heard of the Webster Technique and figured it couldn't hurt to give it a shot.  So after two days and two adjustments, I'm still not sure if the baby is turned, but I feel incredible (there may have been a change of position as of last night.  I think it's possible that I'm feeling the baby's bottom up top now) .  She has loosened up some ligaments that I had no idea were tight.  I only wish I had gone to her sooner.  If this doesn't work there's always moxibustion.  I can just have Brent burn incense next to my pinkie toe, while I'm upside down with peas, heating pad and flash light balanced on my protruding abdomen, all while listening to Beethoven.  What's there to lose?