My sweet little miss just discovered the dangerous fun that is a 'trust fall'. Any time I park myself on the floor, she immediately runs over to me, stretches her body tall and straight, spreads out her arms and dives forward into my arms, squealing with delight. She never asks me to catch her...she never hesitates...she just falls toward me with a huge grin on her face, trusting that I will catch her in my arms.
Over and over she falls, and over and over I catch her.
This fun little game could go wrong in so many different ways should I choose not to catch her...but she's my child. I love her and I want to protect her, so of course I'm going to pay attention, stretch out my arms and catch her every time she falls toward me.
One day, after about 10 minutes of laughing and catching my little dare-devil, I couldn't help but think about how this little game is so similar to my relationship with God...or rather not-similar. God holds out HIS arms to me, I spread mine wide and begin to fall back into HIM, only to falter ever-so-slightly and then stop. Will HE catch me? Can I trust HIM with the details of my life? I'm afraid to let HIM be in control. Unlike my sweet miss, I don't fall back with abandon. I look at HIM, shake my head with shame and decide to take my life into my own hands.
Even though I am HIS child, and I know HE will never let me fall, I'm afraid to let HIM have it all...I'm afraid of the trust fall.
So often, I want to take the reigns...I want the control. I want to make my plans and I want to check off the tasks from my mental 'to-do' list. I want, I want...
I hesitate to give everything to HIM. I hesitate to release it all to HIM.
As HIS child, do I trust God to catch me in life? Do I trust my life and the direction it is going in HIS capable hands?
I wish I could always answer 'yes' to that question, but I would be kidding myself and you.
Daily I find myself praying with trepidation, "I am yours God...do with me as you will..." While still holding back the parts I want to keep for myself. It's selfish, I know.
But, then I think of Isaiah's vision in Isaiah chapter 6. Isaiah is at the throne of God, in the perfect Almighty presence of God, and the Seraphim are so in awe they are covering themselves as they shout God's praises. Isaiah was feeling completely unworthy to be in the presence of the Lord, and could only think of his shortcomings, when all of a sudden the Lord spoke and asked in verse 8, " Whom shall I send, and whom will go for US?" and Isaiah replied, "Here I am, send me!" Isaiah was humbly ready, and had complete trust in the task prepared for him.
The job he was accepting was not a good one. He was to deliver news to an unreceptive people...yet, HE trusted God's good and perfect will. HE trusted this task that was given by God. I am in awe of Isaiah's readiness. His willingness to bring God glory through trust and obedience.
As I am typing this, the old Hymn 'Trust and Obey' came to mind so, I googled the lyrics. I was particularly struck by this verse:
Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet.
Or we'll walk by His side in the way.
What He says we will do, where He sends we will go,
Never fear, only trust and obey.
Trust and obey for there's no other way,
To be happy in Jesus, than to trust and obey.
It is clear that our Mighty God has capable hands that are strong to carry the burden of every detail in our lives. How great of a disservice it is to not relinquish all to Him. To not let Him have His way in our lives. To say, "Thanks, but no thanks."
To not let our lives bring HIM the glory HE deserves.
The trust fall is sort of cliche`, but I love the point it makes...to place our trust in someone other than ourselves. Relinquishing control.
More importantly, spreading our arms wide, erasing fear and doubt, and giving God every piece of ourselves to do as HE wishes for HIS glory.